st. patrick's day

We've established that I love holidays and celebrations of all kinds but yesterday (aka March 17th) I was the St. Patrick's grinch. The thought of carousing about with green beer in hand, consuming it along with shots of whiskey and Irish car bombs (okay, that's something I never participate in), made me want to curl up on the couch in sweatpants and a mindnumbing chick flick. Maybe some popcorn too. Okay, for sure some popcorn too.

I was partied out. It's been nonstop birthdays since 2001 and with more birthdays, weddings, out of town guests and a large music festival looming in the near future donning green and dancing a jig on a Wednesday evening was almost as appealing as a trip to the dentist (hard core exaggeration since I hate the dentist). Plus I made the mistake of partaking in Taco Tuesday the night before. I was tired. And still am since I manned up and went for it. My pep talk went something like this, "Manda, you wussed out last year and lasted maybe 20 minutes at a bar (in my defense I had just returned from a very strange weekend in Vegas). St. Paddy's Day only happens once a year. Everyone else is doing it. You can get all the sleep you need when you're dead." Okay, convinced but still tired I did it. I didn't consume much beer (and none of it was green) but I did witness Mexicans making Irish music and a pseudo moshpit with some fun folks so I know once I catch up on sleep it'll be worth it.

Being out sober caused me to reflect upon the types of people who really get into this holiday because there are distinct groups. The first group consists of the peeps like me who just love to celebrate anything. They'll pretend to be Irish on March 17th, Mexican on May 5th, a zombie on Oct. 31st. Although I own up to my mutt heritage (which includes none of the above groups).

The next group consists of former frat guys. That by itself isn't a problem. I've dated a number of former frat guys post college graduation and it went all right. The problem is with those who've graduated and still think they're in the frat. I realize that it's seen as some kind of lifelong bond but I always thought that was more in theory than actual behavior. An offshoot of this group are the current frat boys. I find their behavior slightly more excuseable cuz hey, they're still in college and grown upness is at least a year away. And actually alone most of these guys are fine. But in large groups all of the cavemen behavior that can exist exists. While this behavior can often be encountered any night of the week it's amped up on St. Patrick's Day. And really another offshoot of this group are large gatherings of college males (and really females too) in general. Perhaps not those majoring in gender studies of some sort.

The last group consists of legit alcoholics. The rest of us might be partiers but we still maintain some sense (I might be in denial. That's the first step, right?). This group takes it to a whole other level of not being able to speak in a coherent sentence by noon (you don't fit into this group if you're still in college). They're the ones who are in their fifties and stumbling around spilling beer on you while trying to regal you with stories of St. Paddy's Day celebrations back in the '30s. They often get the rowdiest and are potential injury concerns so I'd advise you to steer clear if they're swaying too much.

St. Patrick's Day is certainly good people watching if nothing else. And so I advise myself next year not to go to Vegas the weekend before, don't drink for at least a week prior, and get plenty of rest and hydration so as to be entirely prepared. And I advise St. Patrick to move the holiday to a fixed Saturday in the month of March so I don't have to worry about working the next morning.