st. patrick's day

We've established that I love holidays and celebrations of all kinds but yesterday (aka March 17th) I was the St. Patrick's grinch. The thought of carousing about with green beer in hand, consuming it along with shots of whiskey and Irish car bombs (okay, that's something I never participate in), made me want to curl up on the couch in sweatpants and a mindnumbing chick flick. Maybe some popcorn too. Okay, for sure some popcorn too.

I was partied out. It's been nonstop birthdays since 2001 and with more birthdays, weddings, out of town guests and a large music festival looming in the near future donning green and dancing a jig on a Wednesday evening was almost as appealing as a trip to the dentist (hard core exaggeration since I hate the dentist). Plus I made the mistake of partaking in Taco Tuesday the night before. I was tired. And still am since I manned up and went for it. My pep talk went something like this, "Manda, you wussed out last year and lasted maybe 20 minutes at a bar (in my defense I had just returned from a very strange weekend in Vegas). St. Paddy's Day only happens once a year. Everyone else is doing it. You can get all the sleep you need when you're dead." Okay, convinced but still tired I did it. I didn't consume much beer (and none of it was green) but I did witness Mexicans making Irish music and a pseudo moshpit with some fun folks so I know once I catch up on sleep it'll be worth it.

Being out sober caused me to reflect upon the types of people who really get into this holiday because there are distinct groups. The first group consists of the peeps like me who just love to celebrate anything. They'll pretend to be Irish on March 17th, Mexican on May 5th, a zombie on Oct. 31st. Although I own up to my mutt heritage (which includes none of the above groups).

The next group consists of former frat guys. That by itself isn't a problem. I've dated a number of former frat guys post college graduation and it went all right. The problem is with those who've graduated and still think they're in the frat. I realize that it's seen as some kind of lifelong bond but I always thought that was more in theory than actual behavior. An offshoot of this group are the current frat boys. I find their behavior slightly more excuseable cuz hey, they're still in college and grown upness is at least a year away. And actually alone most of these guys are fine. But in large groups all of the cavemen behavior that can exist exists. While this behavior can often be encountered any night of the week it's amped up on St. Patrick's Day. And really another offshoot of this group are large gatherings of college males (and really females too) in general. Perhaps not those majoring in gender studies of some sort.

The last group consists of legit alcoholics. The rest of us might be partiers but we still maintain some sense (I might be in denial. That's the first step, right?). This group takes it to a whole other level of not being able to speak in a coherent sentence by noon (you don't fit into this group if you're still in college). They're the ones who are in their fifties and stumbling around spilling beer on you while trying to regal you with stories of St. Paddy's Day celebrations back in the '30s. They often get the rowdiest and are potential injury concerns so I'd advise you to steer clear if they're swaying too much.

St. Patrick's Day is certainly good people watching if nothing else. And so I advise myself next year not to go to Vegas the weekend before, don't drink for at least a week prior, and get plenty of rest and hydration so as to be entirely prepared. And I advise St. Patrick to move the holiday to a fixed Saturday in the month of March so I don't have to worry about working the next morning.

valentine's haters

I should probably start with stating that I am not one of them. Despite never having had an actual stereoptypical Valentine in my entire life (well, except for this year, which ended up not being stereotypical anyway so not sure it counts in the ways of Hallmark, which is how I stereotype the day). Despite being dumped at one point the day before the big Vday after a lame Mexican dinner followed by some Million Dollar Baby (In all fairness I probably would've dumped someone after seeing that film too.). Which are typically the things that seem to make most people I know hate the big Vday.

I have always loved the big Vday because I love holidays in general. Or more accurately celebrations. Of any kind. In college one of my friends somehow had access to a list of strange holidays (like Oreo cookie day and hang your shirts outside to dry rather than use electricity day), which we would celebrate simply in order to have an excuse to drink (or bother our other friends). Halloween is my all time fav because you have to dress up (not that that's stopped me from dressing up for other holidays/celebrations/regular days of the week) and eat loads of candy (not that that's stopped me from eating loads of candy every other day of the week).

Aside from the fact that the big Vday's a holiday and I get to eat a lot of candy and dress up if I really wanted to (although I generally avoide the pink and red color pallette that day cuz that's taking things a little too far) I also like that it's about love. And not the Hallmark box of chocolates/generic poetic cards/flowers pre-packaged induced romance that we're led to believe is Valentine's Day. But rather a day to remember and celebrate how much you love and are loved by those around you (whether a boyfriend/fiance/husband, girlfriend/fiance/wife, other family members, or friends you haven't slept with). I've already mentioned what an amazing support crew I have so there's always been much love to celebrate on the big Vday even without a man involved. Even the Vday I was dumped I went in to teach my elementary school class hoping I wouldn't have a breakdown in front of them (not that they would've remembered it the next day). But once I got there and all the kids had their homemade Valentines for me and other heartfelt tokens of their appreciation for me I broke down in another way. It was quite touching to realize that even if this dumb dude didn't love me there was a class full of little kids who did and would continue to unconditionally.

And my loves and I have always made it an event. There was the year in college that we volunteered at a big Vday dance for people with disabilities. Then went out afterwards and got smashed. There was another year in college we went to a bar and passed out condoms as a part of the Safer Sex Patrol (an honest to goodness legit campus organization) and also proceeded to get smashed. There was a couple years ago when something like twelve of us were single and decided to invade an Italian restaurant, proceeding to make every couple in there wish they'd either stayed home or chosen a different locale (wonder how many of them lasted). And then proceeded to get smashed. Then, last year a bunch of us (singles and couples) decided to take on Vegas, where far as I know no one got any action... but proceeded to get so smashed none of the fifteen or so of us could manage to consume alcohol for the rest of the trip.

So that has established that I love the big Vday. However, this year I came to fully understand why some people legitimately might not. I had the unfortunate experience of watching the movie Valentine's Day in is entirety in the theatre for $10 and I might as well have watched the Valentine's Day Massacre movie. It left me highly tempted to sue New Line Cinema and any other organization that conspired on behalf of this movie for the I lost hours of my life I'll never get back. And I went in with high hopes. I'm not the biggest chick flick fan but I'm becoming more open minded to them and it looked like it had some "He's Just Not That Into You" potential (Hey, I thought that was a pretty funny movie!). Oh, I was so wrong and for a moment I became a Vday hater. I realized that while I love the big Vday because of the way I choose to observe it I don't love it the way most people choose to observe it.

Many peeps use it as the one day a year they "have" to show their affection for their sweetie. And the fact that these people even have a sweetie but don't find it enjoyable to express their supposed love, respect, and admiration for that person on a regular basis makes me really sad for them. The huge stands with tons of red cheesy stuff, flowers, heart shaped objects made of plastic, nasty tasting chocolate, etc. made me really want to puke in my mouth (I may have a little) because that isn't what love is. I think that stuff is fun for the kids but really if some guy ever tries to show his affection for me with a red, heart shaped stuffed pillow thing I will send that man packing (unless he's really cute and trying to be a smart ass... and has a nice ass). I actually had a Valentine this year (I decided this on my own so he may or may not be aware of this) and we proceeded to get smashed at a bar with friends... Best. Vday. Ever!



Perhaps if peeps dressed like this for the big Vday they'd enjoy it more!