old(er) men

I'm fascinated by the sheer amount of older men who'll chase after younger women. Well, maybe fascinated isn't the best verbage, grossed out, repulsed, disgusted might be more appropriate. And by older men and younger women I don't mean 5-10 years, I'm talking more 20-30+.

It isn't even the age difference that grosses me out. I understand that love manifests in not entirely socially acceptable ways and that it's fantastic when two people can overlook our societal constraints and live happily ever after. I completely understand that sometimes you're working, volunteering, collaborating with someone not even remotely near your age group and feelings develop based upon shared interests, values, and just plain sexual attraction. What bothers me is when these men only seek out women significantly younger than them, like it'll keep them in Neverland or something. At that point the courtship feels almost predatory and dirty.

The inspiration for this post comes from a male senior citizen (I am not kidding, at least 65) that approached me on this recent past big Vday as I walked back to my car from surfing. He initially inquired about my surfing experience, which was fine. I typically have conversations with older men about surfing since they're about the only surfers I ever come into contact with (that and teenage boys; still can't figure out where all the guys my age that say they surf paddle out) and they're usually really fun and informative to chat with. Then, the senior citizen turned predatory and told me there was this band playing at a bar down the street that night and would I like to be his Valentine's date? Now, there's a difference between someone who's just teasing about such a thing and someone who's dead serious. I didn't sense any inkling of jokes in this man's voice or expression. My look of shock must have given away the fact that I wasn't entirely (or at all) interested because he followed up with, "Oh, do you have a man waiting for you at home?" The look of shock certainly didn't disappear as I wanted to reply, "Yeah, this look of shock has absolutely nothing to do with the obvious 30-40 year age gap here," but instead I just told him I had a handsome, much younger stud waiting for me at home, probably butt naked in my bed (Okay, I didn't quite say all that either.).

This isn't the first time this has happened to me. And I've seen it happen over and over to other young ladies. And some of them eat it up. Perhaps because they have low self-esteem. Perhaps they think he has money. Perhaps they know he has money. Perhaps they think it's funny. Perhaps he's Hugh Hefner (most disgusting person in the world aside from serial killers) and she wants to be a playmate. I don't really understand it because I get the "I want to puke in my mouth" feeling when approached. I can feel the desperation and it isn't attractive. At the same time I can understand it. They've probably been playboys their entire life and women their own age certainly aren't going to put up with that. At a certain point it becomes difficult to teach most old dogs new tricks. However, it still isn't attractive behavior. And so as not to sound sexist this goes for older women and younger men too. True love (regardless of age) equals cute while preying on those who aren't entirely emotionally capable of making sound romantic decisions equals not so cute.