homeless men love me

And so do teenage boys.

I'm not sure if it's like this for everyone else but I have distinct types of men (and I'm being generous with that term) who will always hit on me no matter the circumstances. Two in fact. The aforementioned. Let me preface this with that I do get hit on by other types of men but the amount varies according to the situation. However, these two types of men will hit on me whether it's raining or sunny (granted it's almost always sunny in SoCal), night or day, outside or inside, lookin' good or not lookin' so good...

Last week two homeless men passed me on the street and as I smiled at them as I typically smile at everyone because I think we all deserves at least one smile in ourday. One of them responded with, "Can we come home with you? We clean up real well, I promise!" I had to crack up because, honestly, that was probably the most creative pickup line I'd heard in a long time if not ever. Albeit, they did not accompany me to my humble abode.

Now the day before that I walked out of my apartment and was almost a victim of a skateboard hit and run. About eight boys (and I am not being generous with that term) on skateboards came down the sidewalk traveling somewhere around the speed of 35 miles an hour, which I'm guessing if they had hit me would do a decent amount of damage and being the age that they were it was highly unlikely they would have stopped out of fear of getting in trouble. As I stood there waiting for the next group to pass by me (they traveled in two packs) one of the boys asked if he could get my phone number. I swear to you this child was no more than twelve years old. I could have given birth to the kid if I'd been sexually active in the eighth grade.

And oh, these are not isolated incidences (Well, of course, since I've already said this happens all the time. I just needed a transition.). I had another homeless man (and I apologize if I was simply judging them on their appearance and they aren't actually homeless) offer to buy me a dress. More than a few have asked if they could come live with me. Kids who don't even yet qualify for a driver's license have asked for my number more times than I could count. And chances are 8 times out of 10 when I'm hit on while at a bar the guy's still an undergrad not on the Van Wilder path.

Now, I'm really not into homeless men. I'm sure they're really great people and from the conversations I've had with them most are very nice. It just seems like there'd be a lot of issues to deal with in such a relationship and I kind of prefer my dates to have their shite together. As for teenagers I have a strict 21 and over dating policy. If they can't get into a bar legally they can't date me. With that said I'm not opposed to being a cougar (although, I'm told I'm not old enough to call myself that and since I'm not actually sure of the textbook definition I don't know either) and have welcomed the opportunity to date the 22 and 23 year olds I encounter. In the past several months, though I've rethought that policy. I mean, if dating 22 and 23 year olds when I was 22 and 23 (or younger) didn't work out cuz they didn't feel like they had their shite together, what makes me think the 22 and 23 year olds of today are any better (although, I have two very positive examples in this area as both my brother and a good male friend of mine are in their early twenties and two of the most mature dudes I've ever met)?

Regardless I've been soul searching to discover why it is I particularly attract these two types of fellas. I've come up with the following conclusions: Perhaps I attract homeless men because I've never had much money and up until now, primarily focused on how little money I have (hence attracting those with the least amount of money). Or maybe I'm one of the only ones who smiles at them? As for the teeny boppers I s'pose I do look kind of young (But really a teenager? I'm flattered yet unconvinced.). It could also be that I feel very young. I certainly don't feel the late twenties age I supposively am so maybe they feel that energy. Or one other thought is that in the past (I think I'm over it now) I've had something of The Peter Pan Effect in that I don't want to grow up so perhaps I'm putting out that energy and attracting males who I definitely wouldn't get into anything remotely serious with (hence the homeless and youth of today), thus avoiding a relationship, which is certainly one of the most grown up things you can do. I'm starting to learn to strike a balance between the maintenance of youth and becoming a grown up. Still they continue to hit on me so all theories may be null and void.