getting picked up on the freeway

One of my BFFs since freshman year of college came out to visit and celebrate one of her heading toward 30 birthdays. We had the best time ever. The weather was gorgeaus (which she was most appreciative of since she'd ventured from the near arctic cold). We hit every major tourist to-do in the LA area. We went out every night. It was pure exhaustion after four days of this but totally worth it. Which was what I wanted to give her for this birthday she wasn't entirely looking forward to having.

I think, though, the best present she got occurred during a tour of LA rush hour traffic. Since the normally half hour trip took over 2 hours it gave everyone plenty of time to scope out their neighbors. And in this process we were hit on by no less than 8(I didn't actually count but that sounds like a good estimate) males under the age of 21 (or else looking real good for their age). A car full of definite teenagers even offered us tickets to some concert thing that night. Thirty's not looking so bad all of a sudden!

people o.d.

It's been established that I love people. The only thing is I need to add a clause to that. The clause being that I love people as long as I haven't o.d.'d (have no idea how you spell that out; overdosed for those who can't follow) on them. Which periodically I do. This being one of those times or I probably wouldn't have broached this subject.

I work with people in my profession. A lot of people. And for the most part that's what I really enjoy about my job. But there are times each year when I spend 10-12 hours a day solving hundreds of people's problems. And when I get home I have no energy to even figure out if I have any in my own life. Let alone take care of them or prevent them from even occurring. Laundry, cleaning, bills, car maintenance, health maintenance, it all goes to the wayside. Until the next thing you know every time someone I have to help asks a "dumb" question (and contrary to popular belief there is a such thing as a dumb question) I want to ask them to help with my laundry, cleaning, bills, car maintenance, and health maintenance. It's only fair.

At that point by the time I leave work each day the last thing I want to do is see people. There are a few exceptions but for the most part I'm tempted to make my standard phone greeting, "Go to hell!" Or throw it in the ocean. However, since I doubt that'd go over real well with my homies and I'd like to keep them around for when I get back to my true self I've managed to refrain from that.

This is quite challenging, though, because I have A LOT of friends. Bordering too many. I've contemplated making cuts but I really like all of them so I wouldn't even know where to start. I have a potentially bad habit of collecting friends. Anyone I think is primarily interesting and good looking I'll give my phone number to. I've not only picked men up in bars but also a good number of women (all entirely platonic much to the disappointment of men's imaginations everywhere). I'm even still friends with a fairly high percentage of them.

I have cut friends before. When they've become toxic. The ending of a friendship isn't typically as dramatic as the ending of a relationship. Usually it slowly ends until you don't even realize it was over until it's long been over. These are the ones I like because typically it hasn't been for any horrible reason. It's usually due to location, schedule, just not having that much in common, them being highly boring. But in the past year or so I've actually had to end a couple close friendships out of the recognition that they weren't good for me. And that was certainly more difficult. It was akin to breaking up with a boyfriend. I think. I've never actually broken up with a boyfriend. I've definitely ended more than my fair share of relationships before they even got to the second, third, fourth dates but I don't think that necessarily qualifies as dumping. I'm supposing it's similar. Although, while it's more difficult than just naturally letting the friendship die, I must say it's much easier to be on the dumping end than the dumpee end. There's a lot to be said for seeing it coming and already knowing it's the best thing for you.

But as I already said before I digressed into what should probably be an entirely different post, I don't have any that I currently want to cut. And so this week alone I've had/have three different birthday celebrations lined up while all I want to do is disappear beneath my covers with some popcorn, Harry Potter (even though I've already read all the books) and perhaps a cute boy (if he doesn't talk all the better).



Perfect illustration of how I feel

bestest part dos

Okay, I had to do it. One last cheesy post inspired by my bestest in the whole entire world (or at least for some time). I've just really been feeling the love hard core this week and based on some highly touching emails, phone calls, and face-to-face conversations I felt I should respond extremely publicly (okay, maybe not extremely publicly since I doubt anyone outside of the inner circle has even seen this but maybe someday... sigh).



Escaping a monsoon with some of the adopted sisters


I'm very lucky to be surrounded by people who are not only very loving and supportive (and have I mentioned hot?) but also very honest. If I ever need my arse kicked I have plenty of people who'd line up to do it and then give me a big hug afterwards. Luckily the heartfelt words I've received lately have all been of the good kind so my arse is feeling pretty good right now. As I mentioned before I sent this to some of the trusted inner circle to get some feedback on my writing (I'm pretty sure I find myself more entertaining than anyone else in the world so I need to get reality checks now and then) and so far it's been really positive (and if it's been negative I've probably ignored it; I once had a roommate who commented that denial isn't just a river in Egypt but also likely my middle name. There might be some truth to that). What I didn't expect were all the "I love yous" I received because of it. Many of my friends that live far and away said it made them feel like we were having a conversation and that we were closer in distance than we actually are in real life. And then thanked me for being who I am and their friend. I never expected my blog to be in any shape or form touching; I simply thought I could recount my hilarious encounters for posterity sake and perhaps snag a book deal once "they" (whomever they are) realize how great it could be.



Bus ride to the Hollywood Bowl


One of my friends (you know who you are) told me I was one of the most authentic people she knows, which is probably also one of the highest compliments I've ever been given and thoroughly surprised me. Not that I strive for fakeness but for a large portion of my life I've felt not quite like I fit in anywhere and I've only recently gotten to a place of full (or mostly full) self-acceptance, which while I'm trying to have a humorous blog here, has required the prerequisite stereotypical Eat, Pray, Love spiritual journey. Unfortunately since I haven't yet gotten my book deal I wasn't given the financial backing to spiritually explore myself in Italy, India, and Bali but think I got similar results in Michigan, the ATL, and southern California (much of the nirvana being found while getting smashed by large waves). Now I know this is a process most people undertake at some point in their lives because I think that's what makes us human and this is probably why I was not a huge fan of Eat, Pray, Love. Therefore, I likely won't be writing a book about revelations, as I feel it would simply be a compilation of what has already been written by the masses (Unless of course it's going to pay the big bucks; in which case I'll make an exception.).



Korean Bell of Friendship with fam and friends


The point of this post isn't to tell anyone how to be more authentic because I wouldn't even know where to begin or even if I've achieved that despite my friend's assurance that I have. The point of it is if I have achieved authenticity (and I think that's something we're all constantly striving for) then anyone can do it. Being true to oneself is one of life's greatest challenges, pleasures, and reward. I think some of my dissatisfaction with my current job stems from my desire for authenticity because I feel that I'm in a career field that doesn't necessarily value that trait. I often feel that I have to set an example at all times and that example is more one of social acceptance than authenticity. How can I teach child development and then talk about getting hammered immediately after? Or the biggest, how can I continue to work in a profession that's "helping" people when I don't fully agree with that term?



New Year's Eve!!!


And so authenticity continues to be something I strive for but am glad I at least seem to be on the right track. And I think I need to again thank my peeps because if I am on that pathway I owe a significant amount to them for inspiring me to become a better person, follow my passions, and be myself. Because no one loves me more exactly for who I am (no matter how many times I eff up and they have to kick my arse) and honestly, it's that unconditional love that makes all the difference in a person's life (Not the after school programs, tutoring, just say no to drugs talks... just don't tell my boss, I still need my job for at least a bit longer. Unless, of course, you want to buy the rights to my future book or give me my dream job. In which case I'll inform him myself right now.).



Some of the Cali friends

bestest friends ever!!!

Recently I emailed this out to a bunch of trusted and beloved friends (sorry guys if I don't tell ya'll that often enough but it's always true) because what's the point of having a blog if no one's reading it. Plus I highly value their input since I only choose the most intelligent, creative, fun, witty, well read and written, and oh yeah, hot friends. And I got a lot of positive feeback, as well as some recent random comments/compliments from those near and dear that've made me feel like I'm as wonderful as they are (including the one I got today from you know who you are that really inspired this post as I was searching for something to write on). That reminded me again that I have the most amazing collection of friends and family in the entire world. This is something I often think about (particularly if nothing else in my life is going according to plan), as well as often share with others. This includes one time when a guy I'd just met at a bar said he had the bestest friends in the world. I immediately told him that no, I actually have the bestest friends in the world. Let's just say we never went on a date (Perhaps I should have told him maybe we both could have the bestest friends in the world and then we would've made new friends.). So this is in honor of everyone who has supported me throughout my life whether it's been since near birth (holla bro and sis!) or more recently.



Bachelorette party in VegASS


Some people only have a a couple or one or perhaps even zero (so sad) people in their lives they feel they can truly count on but I don't think I could even count mine on all of my fingers and toes (I tend to be the kind of person who stays friends with everyone I have even the remotest connection with. Granted, some of those relationships fade over time due to distance, busy schedules, etc. but I know that if those details were to change we could pick right up where we left off.). Maybe only half actually feel that way about me but I like to think the feelings are mutual.



Z-Trip and glow in the dark body paint


As a child I made friends with everyone (as I still continue to do) and didn't think twice about whether or not they'd like me because I just knew they would. That faded some in the teenage years as insecurities crept in and I felt like I didn't quite belong anywhere for some time, which I later found out was probably how everyone felt during that same time period. College was where I made my comeback, as well as some of the greatest friends I'll ever have in my life (although a few I already knew from back in the day). There's still a significant group of ladies (and some gents, although I don't talk to them as much as I'd like) I keep in close touch with and count as my adoptive sisters. They witnessed (and really inspired) me turning from an extremely fashion challenged tomboy who didn't know how to flirt into someone who can mostly match and has had more than her fair share of M.O. sessions and dates. I definitely have to credit them for contribuing to the person I am today.



Post-Tgiving with the bro and adopted sisters


When I graduated from college and moved to a new city far away (a day's drive anyway). I spent two years meeting some cool peeps but longing for those friends as I only developed one real, meaningful friendship (that still continues strong to this day and I'm as grateful for it as she said today that she is). So when I moved out to southern California I had pretty low expectations in regards to making real friends. I figured I'd probably made my allotted amount back in college. Plus I'd heard all of the stereotypes about the fake people that reside here. Almost five years later I've had the complete opposite experience of what I'd expected. I've met some of the most phenomenol people I've ever encountered in my life (no worries college/before college friends, you are not being replaced). And there are so many I keep joking that I need to make friend cuts but I like everyone so much I wouldn't even know where to start. They've supported me through graduate school, me trying to get on the right career path, perpetual singleness, taught me to surf, found me soccer teams, etc., etc., etc. Five of them I even met at the same bar (and who says you can't meet someone at a bar)!



My bday/ugly holiday sweater bar crawl


I live in a four apartment building with eleven roommates and I call them all roommates because no one locks their doors and we walk in and out of one another's apartments like we all live there. It's not uncommon for me to come home to find my neighbors on our couch watching TV and none of my actual apartment's occupants anywhere nearby. None of us have our initial matching dishware or cooking utensils because we've all shared them back and forth so many times. I know that if I ever disappeared they'd have a search party out for me in a matter of hours. And while sometimes it can feel a bit claustrophobic and I have to work to spend time completely alone I recognize that I may never have such a situation again in my life and so I'm enjoying it to its fullest potential.



EVB Peeps


And the coolest part about all of these friends is when the different groups or individuals meet, often, it's like they've known one another for just as long as I've known all of them and they develop relationships amongst themselves (Not to brag but I'm directly/indirectly responsible for two marriages and likely a third in the near future!). But that's probably because they're all such good people and good people attract good people (or at least that's what I'm told). It definitely feels great to be the connector, though because there's nothing I dislike more than seeing someone who's lonely and unhappy. So thank you everyone who counts me as their friend or family member because without your positive influence in my life I wouldn't be who I am or where I am today. And I will discontinue all sappiness on this blog from now on (or at least it won't be a frequent occurence).

i'm getting a river board?

I made a new friend on Saturday. This in and of itself isn't unusual; I’m always making new friends. I’m good at it. It’s kind of a strange talent I realize, not exactly something that can be put on the resume. Well, I suppose you could list people skills on there somewhere. I think the key is that I really like people (just not the boring ones) and I always assume they’re going to like me back (there’s always a cosmic shock when someone doesn’t). But now that I think about it, I wonder how many of my friends are actually aware that we’re friends…

Back to my new friend. I returned from an almost life ending surf sesh mid afternoon (I’m going to start practicing my underwater breathing skills in the bathtub each evening) and was standing on my apartment building’s front porch talking to one of my neighbors while holding my surfboard under my arm. Two middle aged men who were definitely a little off (they didn’t quite look homeless but they also didn’t quite not look homeless) stopped in front of our porch. The one asked if he could ask me something (I always wonder why people waste a question even asking this but then I go and do the same thing.). I said sure, positive this was going to be entertaining. I could tell my neighbor thought the same thing since he gave me the “oh, who’s Amanda going to talk to now” look and stopped talking himself.

The man said, “Have you ever seen one of those (he pointed to my surfboard) that’s a bit smaller with these things you can strap your feet into?” The way he was gesturing made me think he was talking about a snowboard so I said, “A snowboard?” He said, “No. It goes on a river.” I said, “Are you talking about a wakeboard? Like you ride on behind a boat?” He said, “No. My friend has one and you just wear it in a river.” I just shook my head and said I had no idea what he was talking about since I had no idea what he was talking about (and still don’t). He said, “I’ll have to bring one by.” At this point I was trying to figure out how to dissuade him from doing so since he still seemed to be a bit off and wasn’t sure us having the kind of friendship that involved me inviting him in for an alcoholic beverage (or even milk) was in my best interest. So I said, “Oh, you don’t have to do that.” He said, “No. I’m going to bring it over and you can have it.” Now he was offering to give me the river board. There was no other response to give other than, “Okay. Thanks.” Plus I am curious to find out what a river board is.


Might be able to surf the river on this... if there's a wake.