people o.d. part two

It is possible. To O.D. on people. I never used to be this way but am finding myself overdosing more often in the last year or so. Or maybe I've always been this way and am now just realizing the cause. There were definitely times in the past that I've felt crabby after spending too much time with too many people. Guess I just didn't realize I was O.D.ing until recently. This would be something that'd be pretty easy for me to do being that I've always had jobs where I interact with bunches of folks and have a million friends and family members.

In the last month or so I've had one of my best friends visit from the motherland, my mother visit from the motherland, gone to a music festival with at least 70,000 hipsters, druggies, teeny boppers and old people like myself, taken 100 kids on a field trip to a crowded university, facilitated a discussion forum with hundreds of high school participants in a fairly small setting, and assisted an Earth Day event for a large group of K-8th graders. Oh and both visits included multiple trips to tourist packed locales, including Disneyland. I would guesstimate I've encountered half a billion peeps in the last month. This necessitates the removal of myself from society for at least the next month.

I actually thought I was cured after I spent several nights this past week doing my own thing. I read. I took baths. I ate delicious food. I ran. I surfed. Usually I only need a night or two of alone time to get back on track. So when Saturday night came and the bf invited me to meet up with him and some of his friends I thought I was ready. Not so much. It was fine but I definitely wasn't back to my old self. I realized I'd still rather be laying on the couch watching Valentine's Day (okay, slight exaggeration as that's the world's worst movie) than socially engage with anyone, even really fun and friendly people I would normally make my new bestest friends. I hope the recovery period doesn't last much longer cuz I'd really like the old me back.

people o.d.

It's been established that I love people. The only thing is I need to add a clause to that. The clause being that I love people as long as I haven't o.d.'d (have no idea how you spell that out; overdosed for those who can't follow) on them. Which periodically I do. This being one of those times or I probably wouldn't have broached this subject.

I work with people in my profession. A lot of people. And for the most part that's what I really enjoy about my job. But there are times each year when I spend 10-12 hours a day solving hundreds of people's problems. And when I get home I have no energy to even figure out if I have any in my own life. Let alone take care of them or prevent them from even occurring. Laundry, cleaning, bills, car maintenance, health maintenance, it all goes to the wayside. Until the next thing you know every time someone I have to help asks a "dumb" question (and contrary to popular belief there is a such thing as a dumb question) I want to ask them to help with my laundry, cleaning, bills, car maintenance, and health maintenance. It's only fair.

At that point by the time I leave work each day the last thing I want to do is see people. There are a few exceptions but for the most part I'm tempted to make my standard phone greeting, "Go to hell!" Or throw it in the ocean. However, since I doubt that'd go over real well with my homies and I'd like to keep them around for when I get back to my true self I've managed to refrain from that.

This is quite challenging, though, because I have A LOT of friends. Bordering too many. I've contemplated making cuts but I really like all of them so I wouldn't even know where to start. I have a potentially bad habit of collecting friends. Anyone I think is primarily interesting and good looking I'll give my phone number to. I've not only picked men up in bars but also a good number of women (all entirely platonic much to the disappointment of men's imaginations everywhere). I'm even still friends with a fairly high percentage of them.

I have cut friends before. When they've become toxic. The ending of a friendship isn't typically as dramatic as the ending of a relationship. Usually it slowly ends until you don't even realize it was over until it's long been over. These are the ones I like because typically it hasn't been for any horrible reason. It's usually due to location, schedule, just not having that much in common, them being highly boring. But in the past year or so I've actually had to end a couple close friendships out of the recognition that they weren't good for me. And that was certainly more difficult. It was akin to breaking up with a boyfriend. I think. I've never actually broken up with a boyfriend. I've definitely ended more than my fair share of relationships before they even got to the second, third, fourth dates but I don't think that necessarily qualifies as dumping. I'm supposing it's similar. Although, while it's more difficult than just naturally letting the friendship die, I must say it's much easier to be on the dumping end than the dumpee end. There's a lot to be said for seeing it coming and already knowing it's the best thing for you.

But as I already said before I digressed into what should probably be an entirely different post, I don't have any that I currently want to cut. And so this week alone I've had/have three different birthday celebrations lined up while all I want to do is disappear beneath my covers with some popcorn, Harry Potter (even though I've already read all the books) and perhaps a cute boy (if he doesn't talk all the better).



Perfect illustration of how I feel