gas station peeps

Sometimes I forget there’s a gas station I shouldn’t frequent. The only appeal is the cheap gas. But it isn’t even worth the hassle sometimes. I’ve been hit on by every man you would never ever want to have hit on you in your entire life simply by stopping at this gas station. This includes one middle aged man who couldn’t speak English other than to ask me for my phone number. When I told him, "No hablo espanol," very well he said, “So?” Now, really what were we going to talk about if I had given him my phone number? And in what language?

I also had a car full of 16 year old boys ask me to buy their gas for them and in return they'd give me sexual favors and not in language anyone should use in an attempt to solicit sexual favors unless you're seriously dating and really need to spice things up. My reply? "So let me get this straight? You want me to pay for your gas and then engage in activity that must be illegal since there's no way any of you are 18?" One smart ass actually saw this as a plausible situation and defiantly said, "Yeah," while his less brave or perhaps more intelligent buddies laughed uneasily. Deciding it might be safer to now get into my car and prepare to drive away but still not ready to let these guys think they were the shit, I did so and then said, "One, I'm old enough to have given birth to you boys (okay, if I'd gotten pregnant at the age of nine). Two, YOU couldn't buy ME enough gas for that. Three, I hope your parents didn't raise you to treat women this way. And four, good luck picking up any kind of quality girl of any age acting like that." I don't think they were expecting a half hour lecture as not a single one had a response and probably half of their mouths were hanging open. In addition to these less than tempting pickups I've also seen cop cars a dozen times in the near vicinity (prompting only daylight stops now). And lately a random man insists on washing my car windows. Not even insists. He just up and does it before I can even figure out where he materialized from.

Such was my mistake today. I drove to a meeting and feeling like a rebel, called a friend of mine from back in the Midwest to catch up… while driving. I know. Really becoming a rebel. I realized part way there that gas might be a smart idea so I didn’t have to push my car in heels and stopped at ye olde “gas station I shouldn’t frequent”. Still talking on the phone (taking my rebellion a whole other step further by risking my cell phone somehow blowing up the entire gas station from the gas being pumped into my car), I was suddenly ambushed by Car Wash Man.

It’s situations such as these where I really don’t know what to do. I mean, there isn’t a protocol manual for completely random social situations, is there (If not, I’ve decided just now I’ll write one and if so, I’m still going to write one.)? I sat in my car, forgetting that I had a conversation going with a friend I don’t talk to as often as I’d like nor rarely see, and watched this man clean my windshield (as he-or someone like him-has done before) while having an inner dialogue with myself. I don’t like being forced into paying anyone anything. If it’s my choice to purchase a service or good then I’m more than happy to fork over the dough. But this guy didn’t even give me a choice. On the other hand he also didn’t ask for anything. Still, if I didn’t give him money what would he do? Why else is he washing random people’s cars at this dingy gas station? He could just be a good Samaritan but he definitely looked like he could use the money so I doubted that. Then, I doubted my thought process cuz who am I to judge who looks like a good Samaritan or not. Again, I contemplated just not giving him any money just to prove a point. But what point was that? That I didn’t know. So I gave him the only two dollar bills I had (good thing I’d just gotten my new debit card).

He proceeded to then ask me if I’d ever seen an angel. I didn’t know if this was a trick question, if he was supposed to be the angel, or what he was getting at so I said, “No,” even though I really wasn't sure. He said, “Well, you should look in the mirror because you are certainly an angel.” Now this might sound like a very sweet thing to say and ultimately it is better than, “You’re a big fat jerk,” but it came out sounding much more like a pickup line and I resisted the urge to giggle. But more power to him. He’s just trying to make a buck like the rest of us.