boring people

I think of myself as an unprejudiced person. I really like people and have been lucky enough to know enough exceptions to every “rule” that it’s easy for me to see people for who they are rather than the group they might represent. Then, it was pointed out to me by my friends that I am in fact prejudiced against boring people. And I realized they’re right. I really dislike (I’m avoiding the word hate because that’s pretty strong and I don’t particularly want them to die, just never cross paths with me) people who seem to lack even one interesting characteristic, experience, or fact about themselves. It’s ironic because I should find these people most interesting in that I thoroughly don’t understand how it’s possible to go through an entire life without exhibiting even a hint of personality. But even that doesn’t hold my interest enough to want to have an extended conversation (or even standard greeting) with them.

Now I can do small talk. I’m actually really good at it. But it’s kind of like foreplay in that you do it so you can get to the really good stuff (conversations and sex in case you’re lost in the metaphor). Actually that’s a poor metaphor because I consider foreplay to be really good stuff too. Hmmm… not sure of a good comparison. Let’s just say I enjoy deep, thought-provoking conversations that I leave feeling like I’ve grown in some way as a person (or at least have guffawed to the point I can feel a six-pack being formed) and I only put up with the small talk to get to that.

Needless to say boring people don’t contribute whatsoever to mental stimulation or a solid six-pack. Luckily I don’t encounter many boring people I have to spend a significant amount of time with. But when I do I’m at a complete loss. I’m able to penetrate many walls other people can’t during the getting to know you process but so far I’ve found boring people to have a layer of Kevlar. And I don’t own any kryptonite. I prefer avoidance at all costs because such situations are that uncomfortable for me.

The most uncomfortable situations with boring people are when these boring people are my friends’ significant others or good friends because they’re people I have to be around over and over if I want to continue to have our mutual non-boring friends in my life. But what’s really puzzling is that my friends (all of whom I consider to be some of the most interesting peeps on Earth) are attracted to boring people at all. Everyone explains it away as, well, they must be good in bed but I can’t imagine someone that boring gets freaky naked. How is that easier than getting interesting while clothed? And if there isn't any sex at all involved, then I don't see any potential appeal.

A fantastic example of this is an experience a friend of mine related to me having to do with a girlfriend of a friend no one in their group was too impressed with. A group of people (all of whom I know to be extremely easy to interact with) were standing in a circle talking and suddenly one of the guys realized someone was standing behind him in the corner. It turned out to be the girlfriend, who had stood there for who knows how long not saying a word or trying to get into the mix. To this day everyone is still baffled as to how she could have stood there for so long and why they’re still dating because her boyfriend has a lot of personality. Apparently enough for the both of them.

At any rate this post really has no point (which might momentarily make me boring, or else unable to finish what I start, which is debatably true at times) other than to publicly declare my prejudice against boring people and hopefully ward off future boring bores.